You said it many times, you lost your ambition. Find it and give it another shot.

Otherwise, live on minimum wage and be happy your family can support you. How's that for motivating you

To be perfectly honest and blunt, you've really tossed your future into a toilet. You are an average joe that turned for the worst. At your age, you should be finishing up college with good grades and applying to jobs when you finish college.

This is the reality. If you don't turn this around, you screwed yourself and have no one to blame. Get into school again. Without a solid foundation, what would make you successful or just get by? DON"T WASTE YOUR TIME AGAIN

 

Yes I know

It is just so hard, because that first semester really screwed my GPA. It has been excruciatingly tough to turn that around.

It is hard to find ambition when you are not sure what path you want to take in life..

I guess that is one of my problems.. thinking things are too hard and giving up.

Thank you for your advice.

 

Take it to heart & move forward.

 

Screw college! Learn how to get a job, and make dollars for someone paying you nickels. Is that what you want? Hell I'd rather dig ditches for myself than take orders from someone. You just said you've got a family of entrepreneurs. LEARN from them, and take over the business. That education is worth a thousand degrees. The main thing is to get focused, and get help for your addiction. At 20 your still a baby. Plenty of time, and not too late.

 

"Hell I'd rather dig ditches for myself than take orders from someone."

Reminds me of "tis better to rule in hell than serve in heaven"
Paradise Lost.

 

Just dont give up - is pretty much it. Most people find success I think when they work out of their comfort zone.

I am just a year older than you with a kid and family from a 'small town'. Currently make more money now than most anyone does in my city. However, I have a thread and youll find it wasnt always this way.

Im still not where I want to be but damnit if I havnt made progress! I think too many people accept the route they are told to go as their only option. Theres a whole world out there outside of what is given to us. No one will hold your hand through it, but youll find a lot more potential!

 

I'm only 2 years older, but if you want some advice here it is, people above in the post also pointed this out, you got plenty of connections so take advantage of them. Learn your families trade or build off it. Might not be as exciting or maybe you get sick of working with parents but hey its something. Restaurants can be good money makers but its as you might know A LOT of work. My fiance's dad owns a restaurant and he is constantly working it seems like. But hey you got to push yourself to achieve anything.

Your already working your way to your goals, you admitted you were going the wrong way in life, and you stopped your substance abuse.

If ADHD is still giving you issues there is plenty of other ways to help with it in a non pharmacological realm. There is Psycho Education, Psychological therapies, compensatory behavioral and self-management training and "coaching". I dont know if this was a issue but I thought I'd at least take a swing at it (Majoring is Psych). We all make mistakes, I certainly did and still do but giving up is the last thing anyone needs to do. Good luck man!

Oh and if you want to take your chances stocks can be a great way to go for long term benefits and short term if done correctly. I don't recommend this until you get on your feet and are educated some in the stock market. Other than that cheers man! :cheers:

 

You need to change the people you associate with. Start eating healthy, exercise, wake up early and just focus on what you want out of this life. No one is going to give you anything in this life time so it’s up to you to make your dreams a reality.

 

Like everyone said, 20 is still young enough. Find your focus, work hard, find hobbies outside of schoold and work that make you feel better about yourself, like the gym or martial arts whatever. Stop focussing on the past, I've found that every "loser" ive met in life keeps talking about the past and what if this and what if that. Look into something you think you would enjoy but has a broad enough base to work in several fields. You don't need to work in whatever you chose forever but a degree opens a lot of door in many different industries. It shows employers your ability to learn and follow through. You may chose to start a business afetr, who knows, but you'll have a fall back. Have some pride in what you do and push yourself to be the best. If you push hard in your 20's you can really have something by 30. A lot of kids **** away thier 20's because they think ther'e young and have time, but 30 comes fast and if you start then you'll be 40 before no time. This is the only advice I can give. Never expect anything from anyone, make your own future and never blame anyone either.

 

Failure is only relevant if you don't learn from it. Whatever path you take if you are expecting it to be easy you will be disappointed. Use your time working for your parents to develop your self discipline and work ethic. Then strike out on your own. I don't see you as becoming a satisfied employee for someone else.

Just my old fart two cents

Cincy

 

You seem to have your troubles identified. Get off your butt and do something. Focus and apply yourself. Who wants to hire someone with no focus or motivation? You can choose from many paths, but you have to walk that path once you choose it and it may be hard. If you have to find the perfect goal, situation, or opportunity to get motivated and apply yourself, you are not looking at the problem right.

I am teaching at a local college right now and the students are driving me insane. They talk all through class about their dreams and goals, but none of them do their school work. They ask me constantly how to get into my business and be successful. They ask me for leads, referrals, and recommendations, all while tanking my class and not doing the assignments.

I am cranky about it right now, but I hope you see my point. Asking how to be successful without doing any work is kind of ridiculous. You messed up and made the path harder. Nothing is impossible. You are still very young. Whatever path you choose, pursue it vigorously. You might have to go to community college to bring your grades up. You might have to work hard at it and take extra time to catch up. If you are not willing to work hard, how do you expect to get anywhere at anything?

I have a good friend I know from skydiving. He spent his weekends skydiving and worked for the city sewer (doing some pretty nasty stuff....). He felt he was in a dead end situation and wanted to do more. In his late 30s, he went back to school. He worked his a$$ off in a nursing program and graduated with a 4.0. He is now a cardiac nurse in the best hospital in the state. Works 6 days on and 6 days off. Makes bank and has 6 day weekends. He just returned from a BASE jumping trip to Norway. He re-started his career late, worked hard, and is now reaping the rewards. The point of this story is to show you can regroup and apply yourself anytime with great results. The key to this story was that he worked incredibly hard at it to make it happen.

 

I can't tell you how to make a lot of money. I never finished college. I am not a Lambo owner, I drive BMW's. What I can tell you about is addiction. I wont go into the details but trust me. You referd to yourself as addicted/addict or something along those lines. My advice is to make sure YOU STAY CLEAN. Most people dont understand addictions, nor do they have to, but if you are please take this advice. If you need help get it. Just because you have been clean for a while doesn't mean your necessarily out of harms way. You could be though, and I hope you are. I gaurantee if you go back to active addiction none of your dreams will come true. Best of luck to you. If you would like to talk about anything I have said feel free to contact me.

 

congrats on getting into school! remember to stick it out this time and don't get distracted.

i still say school is good for you. not only will you learn skills, school teaches you how to learn.

knowing how to learn quickly is important because we are always learning. The world changes so if you can adapt, any success you have today is short lived.

starting up business requires capital, commitment and some luck / guidance. i just don't think you are ready yet if you can't keep up with school. i mean no disrespect in saying this.

 

None taken! I agree, I first need to learn the skill, practice and master the skill, then eventually I can make my own business out of the skill!

 

TS,

If you are taking all this to heart, you will do fine. I think a lot of people come to this section hoping there is a trick to success that they can easily apply to their lives. Something like "We all got rich selling Amway!" or "Buy such and such stock!". Follow these basic steps and join us spending millions on exotic cars. (If you find these answers, let me know.)

Sorry if I came off harsh in the last post. My college class was last night and it is driving me nuts. I am an animator and I am teaching an animation class. The students homework is to read a book about how to do animation and do little cartoon exercises. Every week there are several students that do nothing. I got one that reads novels in class and several others try to do homework for other classes. I have to tell them to knock it off almost every week. Last night a group of them were asking me all about intern positions that were just posted at my company. They were all proclaiming that being an animator was their life's dream and they could think of nothing better or more exciting. It has been like pulling teeth to get the same group to do their exercises and none of them are excelling. They have all the latest tools at their disposal and I can't even get many of them to do simple drills consistently. I keep thinking if their dream is to be an animator, why is it so freaking hard to get them to do animation! We are talking about cartoons! It isn't like I am asking them to master and implement rocket science. They signed up for this class and these people are paying a fortune for it! I don't get it and it is driving me a bit nuts.

Anyway, don't be like these guys is all I am saying.

On the flip side, I was asked to mentor a kid from another school because the University he goes to does not have an animation division in their film department. He wants to do animation, so he took classes from the local community college during his summer break and signed up for classes offered at various trade schools. He negotiated doing the animation project through his University and got a program set up to make it happen. He showed up to our first meeting with a long list of questions, a great portfolio, scripts for his project, a production plan and several things pre-built. He is doing this all in addition to his normal class load. He had even researched me on the net and knew many of the projects I had worked on and had a list of technical questions based on what he saw. I was astounded by what he had been able to accomplish in such a short time and his stuff amazed me. He is just getting started in the field and has been at it for less than a year. He was very professional with an incredible work ethic.

Be like that guy.

 

Man, to be completely honest, that really spoke volumes to me! That inspired me, and now I want nothing more than to be that guy! Thank you soo much for telling me that.

And if I could offer a little advice, I don't know if you have already tried this, but maybe tell your students that story. It may not solve all your problems, but I know at least one of your students will listen.

Once again, thank you! I will probably remember that story the rest of my life!

 

Interesting story....

28 years old here and have been sketching supercars since elementary school. Personally, I didn't do too well in school (jr high, high school, college) and it feels truly like a regret.

I ran through various landscaping jobs, detailed cars with a region based company for 3-4 years. In fact, for about 3-4 years, I couldn't even drive a vehicle and rode a bike.

Anyway, I collected guitars, bikes, and saved during this period. Well this last year I jumped at the opportunity to run my own detail business (only employee).

Well this fall I just bought my 2nd car ever. Albeit it is older and not the RWD Diablo I dream of, my 1990 Lotus Esprit SE is getting me closer to my dream.
In years to come I hope to restore cars and build my detail business further to get me where I would like to go.

Some folks such as myself learn to get their education the hard way.... Best of luck with your goals and stay busy.
I can't describe my envy for these cars, I don't care for furniture, houses, boats, watches, hats, jewelry, shoes, or anything of the sort.

Just driving... Josh

 

Personally speaking, the most important thing is to get further beyond your addiction. Whether that is through NA or counseling... whatever. Something like that, if not erradicated and controlled, can tear down EVERY other thing that you love in your life. It can steal everything you've ended up fighting so hard to have. The family, career, house, and car.... all suceptible to be taken away if you fcuk up with an addiction.

Secondly, depression... get into counselling. Meds? Maybe. But one-on-one and/or group counselling is critically important for most people with clinical depression. If you are depressed you're more likely to fall back into addiction. Having an addiction 'under control' but not your psychological state is perilous.

The single most important thing you wrote concerning your future, and specifically your career, is this, "*I love every single thing about computers and technology, it is, and always has been my passion." This is the end of the discussion of 'what should I do?'. Many people on here will tell you that making enough to have a bigger house and an exotic is NOT worth it if you hate what you do. Much, MUCH better to have a more modest lifestyle and really dig your career.

For the personal stuff... and this is something that I think almost everyone on here would agree with, but you can't really 'get it' until one has 'lived' more than you have... the MOST important 'Life Goal' that you wrote is this: "*To be happy."
It takes time to find out what your heart really desires... and if we are all honest... it isn't the house or the hottie or the car... it's to be happy with who we are and the connections we have with those we love and our place in the world. From that, if you are Master of yourself, comes all the other stuff. You don't get happy and centered from owning the housue and the car... you get to a position in life to have the house and the car from being happy and knowing what you're all about.

But you know what they say about opinions and assholes....

 

Hey OP, your post just got me to sign up to the site so I can reply to you.

I am 23 years old now, and 3 years ago I was in the same position as you (besides the ADHD meds). I messed up my first 4 semesters at university, just barely scraping by. Feeling lost, hating school, depressed after a rough break up, not knowing what to do, blaming others, etc.

Then I reached down into my pants, and gave my balls a tug. I manned up and told myself eff the past, I can not change it. Started moving forward physically and mentally.

For the last two years, year 3 and 4, of my Management/Accounting degree I managed to pull off 3.8 and 4.0 GPAs. Keeping a positive attitude, working hard, and making contacts along the way. I am finishing my degree this December, and I'm happy to say that I've already landed a great job, with one of Canada's top employers. Not in the most favourable cities, but oh well, you gotta struggle and put in work while you are young, to set up for a better future. Starting salary plus living allowances and company shares totals low six figures a year. I never dreamed that I would be bringing in that much at this age, which is also why I came lurking on this site haha. I have always dreamed of owning a Lambo, and I feel like I am definately closer to being able to afford one. (Obviously, it is not the first thing on my list of things to buy, but after a couple condos, other investments, and a nice stack in the bank, I think I should be able to afford one within a couple years.)

It just goes to show that things can always turn around in life, if you have the right attitude to make it happen. I felt like I was going nowhere at your age, but now I think I'm doing very well for myself. Your couple ****ty grades in your first couple semesters won't matter in the long run, as mine didnt matter for my new job either. Most places do require good grades overall (and obviously you need to do alot better from now on), but personality is also very important. If you can show that you improved yourself, you can do the work, will work hard, and have a great attitude, people will want you on their team. And that goes for working for someone, or starting your own business.

Bottom line, keep grinding bro, nothing comes easy, and you can have that lambo if you, and only you, make it happen! Seems like you are already improving your situation by putting the pills down and getting back into school. Good for you.

 

Lots of great additions here.

Ill jump into the Software Engineer vs Web Development question, as these are largely what I do.

First, as you become more familiar with them you will learn they are much different from each other. One is more logic, hands on low level stuff - the either is mostly creative. Even from there, different paths are available. Web app development vs local / driver development, and so forth.. You will have to find what parts of the system interest you most.

On the topic though, software development is a wonderful thing to be in.. Id venture to say there isnt much better. It is the perfect answer to "Solve a need in the marketplace" as computers are prominent in most any work place. Make your own software, market it, have as much success as you will allow yourself - no limits by management or position titles here

 

Out of all your life goals. Only one matters.

*To make money (lots of it) doing something that incorporates the things I love"

All that other talk is nonsense.

Look, just because you dropped out of college does not mean anything. Its all about what you are as a person and the knowledge you have. No title or certificate can define you. Only you can define yourself buddy. You seem to come from a place of not being good enough.

Learn to be confident through your knowledge and what you have done in life. Well you have to actually the substance behind it, yeah? Id you don't think you are good enough to be successful, how can you be?

I dropped out, never had a real job because it didnt appeal to me. But I have a MIND to think for myself not make excuses and take the plug calculated plunge into business.

I work HARD for my self and can have anything I want in life.